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>>>Bukan Niatku<<<
Itu terlalu awal buatku menghadapinya. Kau terlalu cepat memberi harapan. Namun aku tidak mahu kau mengharap kerana aku tahu kita akan berpisah. Cukuplah sekadar ikatan persahabatan. Maafkan aku kerana terlewat memberi berita pemergian ku. Maafkan aku! Bukan niat ku untuk menyakiti mu. Aku pergi mengejar cita-cita. Maaf kan aku. Aku benar-benar bersalah padamu. Di saat ini, kau buat aku tidak mahu pergi ke mana-mana kerana aku mahu dekat padamu. Aku dapat rasakan hati kita bersama. Aku tahu lagu cintamu hanya untuk insan terpilih. Kau telah nyanyikan padaku tetapi janganlah sesekali kau sesali. Kau telah beri harapan padaku. Aku tidak mahu tinggal kan dirimu. Tapi aku tertanya-tanya. Antara cinta atau cita-cita? Aku percaya, hati aku memilih cinta.... Mengapa terlalu lewat kau hadir dalam hidup ku di saat aku mahu pergi jauh dari sini? Tapi aku pasrah dengan apa yang terjadi ini. Pasti ada hikmah disebalik semua ini. Aku mungkin memilih antara cinta dan cita-cita. Tapi, aku bisa memilih kedua-duanya. Tunggulah kehadiranku....
Something Have Change Me(Tribute to HKL's Peoples).....
Today, I woke up as usual in the morning but I just feel that it's too early to start the day because it's my last day at HKL.... Something change me when I woke up, there is something in my heart. I go to HKl as usual but my heart just said, I'll not go trough this way again and again.... So I'm gonna remember every single things on that way.... The train, the environment, the people that everyday waiting for the train with me, the train ticket, the walk, the trees.... I'll remember everything.... Usually, my steps are so long and hurry to reach HKL early and punch the card on time but today I just take the time to feel relax bcoz I dont want the day end so fast. I really cant forget all memories with everyone there... The staff and students.
They gave me happiness, event sadness... We had big laugh, go for lunch together, our gossips, our cafeteria... My lord, I miss everything.... Just thinking if we can reverse the time... But the time is past.... "setiap pertemuan pasti ade perpisahan".... we should accept it... I just can't imagine hows my routine without HKL.... Something have change.....
There are lot of names that I'll remember.... Cik Mi, Aunty See, Kak Aimi, Kak Aishah, Kak Maizan, Kak Azlin, Kak Nadia, Kak Yati, Nana, Shida, Qila, Saritha... IMR students... Syafiq, Azim, Izwan, Payed, Harris, Kak Liza, Ehsan....PTPL students... Pain, Alyn, Ika....
Guys.... I miss u all, I miss your laugh.... I hope we'll meet again one day..... Just keep in touch.... Tight up our friendship.... =)
++That's Stupidy of Me!++
Last night, I really eager to check my email. When I see my inbox, this appear and make me happy plus extremely frustrated:
That time, I felt stupid enough because I late checking it! So that I lost RM1500 ticket to Youth Engagement Summit(YES) 2009. I tried every every way to get the ticket for YES2009... Then I gave up because I know I'm not one of 5oo peoples from South East Asia that win the trip to YES2009. Then I read newspaper and I noticed that 8tv have 2 tickets to catch up. So I joined it and the winner will be confirm by phone call. So I wait and wait but I don't receive any phone call. So I just forget it. Then when I open my email, I realize that it's too late because the date to collect the pass is over. So stupid!!!! I lost RM1500! Nothing can do! Just accept it! The other side, I'm a bit happy because I know that I win the competition.
It's over now but for sure very frustrated when dreaming of Donald trump and Dr. Mamphela Ramphele in front of me!!!! I'm so careless! But time never change.....
>>Life is So Complicated<<
Sometimes, I hate my family without any reasons. I don't have idea why i do so.... It's so stupid when we hating our family without any reasons but I do hating my brother, sister, father and my mother sometimes.... I guess this is because the pressure that they gave to me. My father, always busy with his work and no moral support to my study unless MONEY! That's all... Then he makes problem to my mother about his scandal (stupid bitch slut). My mother, keep crying because of my father then fighting! But she's very strong and patient. I always stand by her side but what makes me hate her is, she's always don't understand me. We always have problems because of misunderstanding. She keep blaming my dad because make my life so easy and she said, I must know how if we're poor. Gosh, what she's talking about? I thankful enough with my life! Of course everyone want make it easy rite? Money and urban life? Come on! I'm not that orthodox... Please don't keep explain about their teens life because it's completely different from this century.
Hurm, my brother.... I don't really like him because we're vice versa! Seriously, I dont really know who is he? What I know is just brother. We don't talk so much since I was a little boy. My lil sister, fuhhh.... she's damn it rude! How come she had that outspoken mouth! Macam cibai!!! Screaming again and again! Then cari pasal ngan org lain! Thats how she do it!!! My old sis, she'll married to unlikable person. My parents dont really like it but its up to her as long as they're not disturbing my life.....
See, how complicated is my life! I wish I have Aladdins Lamp, so that I can change my life story.... But when I'm looking forwards, I get it. "Air kalau di cincang takkan putus". Everyone have their problems and this make us strong and becomes motivated. I try to take whats positive within this, and one things I get is just forgive and forget! I just want to enjoy my life. I want make it success... When I'm trying to achieve it, gosh... its complicated! Well, I never stop climbing that stairs. I just need support from family not pressure! Hurm, since I have high self motivation, so I try to control my mentality about all of this problems... Yeah, I can ignore it. Just my life... I'll make it smooth....
What Disease Is That???
Around this two month, I felt very unhealthy. I don't know why! So I guess there is must be something wrong or I'm having a disease. I just thought it so because I'd see everything about my metabolism.... Urination, defecation, sleep and wake up.... It's increase volume of urine n frequently urination. Every time I eat, its straightly need go to toilet. Defecation again and again. The urine looks very yellowish and the feces oso something wrong and i think its not proper digestion. There is must be increasing of urobilinogen. Thats mean my RBC didn't get enough oxygen. I oso had Insomnia but when i sleep then wakes up, its very very weak even after i had bath and watching tv....my vision very blur... I dont know why.
I realize this situation almost two weeks. I think its just today like this but when i wake up tomorrow, its happen again. So i guess there is something wrong about my body. I need medical check up but what would I say to doctor? It must take 2 to 3 days to diagnose.... urine test, blood test n so on.... If i'm lucky, i can back home with smile but if not, i sleep in the ward again. Please, i dont want it again... I know how it feel when i was admitted to hospital before due to dengue infection... Then if i admitted to hospital again, hows my intership? huh, i want finish it faster... So, what can i do now is control my healthy diets... Vitamin, vegetables n so on. I oso try to have exercises... Wish i'll ok soon... hope so!!!
ITS URINE TEST!!!!!! WISH I CAN DO THIS NOW USING MY URINE.
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